Hit The Refresh Button


Whether you have the best career you could’ve ever asked for, or you hate your job tremendously, we all have bad days at work. Whether you run your own business, work for a company or serve your community, stressful days are guaranteed.  Like most of us, when I venture home my wife awaits.  Often I walk in the door and just want to skip everything, and immediately jump in my bed.   However, she has needs as well and without any warning she goes off, talking about anything and everything. Suddenly, those lips that I love become a curse when they move.  Her voice that is usually so angelic to me becomes a snare, and her body language is causing me to roll my eyes.  I remain quiet for a couple of minutes until I have heard enough.  Then she asks me the worst question she could possibly ask in this moment “How was work”? At this point I lose it! I take all of my stress out on my helper, I belittle her because I felt belittled at work, and I abuse her with your words because I felt beat-up at work. I gave all my energy to work but I forgot to save some energy for my family. I forgot to hit the “refresh button” and leave my daily stresses at the door. This is a lesson I had to learn early in my marriage because I was that guy that wanted to be angry after work and not deal with my family as if it was their fault.  My wife would feel rejected from me. This was not good for our marriage and needed to be fixed.

I learned that my wife meant well. She truly was concerned and she did not deserve my anger. I decided that no matter how bad or stressful work was that day, before I walked in my home I would leave work behind, leave stress behind. The ride home was my time to prepare.  Prayer was key; my prayer was always a prayer of thanks. “Lord I thank you for my occupation, lord I thank you for my wife, Lord I cast all my cares and stress on you, help me to be a blessing to my wife”. This helped me so much. There were times when I needed more than prayer, sometimes just stopping somewhere and making a purchase helped. Going to the gym before stopping home would clear my mind as well; just make sure you communicate with your spouse before you make a stop. The truth is I give 100% at work and my wife deserves more than the work does. This is a principle you can apply throughout your entire marriage, give your wife more energy than work, never put any business venture before your family and always refresh before you come home. Now When I hear “Hun how was work”? It sparks the most fulling conversations in our home. Remember to hit the refresh button

16 thoughts on “Hit The Refresh Button”

  1. I truly appreciate this blog. This is great advice for husbands who are stressed out from work and the cares of life and may have a hard time pushing that “refresh button” when it comes time to whine down at home with the wifey. It helps me as a wife to see that husbands don’t mean to take out their anger or frustration out on their wives, they just need a way to release before they come in contact with their wives and may not always know how or when, but this gives a healthy and spiritual way to release that frustration. I believe prayer is a powerful tool for a husband to use, as well as exercise, both are very helpful in relieving stress. Great advice!

  2. I tend to notice that most Americans are horrid at their work/life balance, and carry the issues from one yo the other not paying attention that these are two different arenas. I feel this is something previous generations of Americans suffered with, it’s encouraging to see that some people are learning to give their all to both home and job knowing that the two are separate.

  3. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this blog. Your transparency is encouraging, it shows true respect and value for not just your marriage but your wife (the person). I can definately relate as a single mom. The complexities of wearing various hats (personal and professional) seems so surreal..its life in full effects.. After a mentally exhaustive day, getting-off work and picking up my 12 years old, it’s funny how she is ready to spark a convo or give a full run down of her day..(mean while I am screaming inside “chill on the talking”). I always enjoy the 20 mins ride all by myself to get her, because the moment she gets in the car my quiet moment always seems to expire. In reality I should be happy she’s open and engaging even at this age. Your blog just encouraged me to be reminded that “Hitting the refresh button” is a good way to create or realign balance. It helps in navigating how to channel the daily cares of life, while making the most of what and who really means the most to us.. its essential in protecting peace, fostering love and care…And also the major thing that helps me as well is prayer, casting all my cares on the Lord and leaning not on my own understanding…. I seriously pause to acknowledge Him that my thoughts and actions are guided in a way that is uplifting and encouraging.

    I look forward to reading more and I’m encouraged that marriage is and can be a beautiful thing as God designed it. Be encouraged as you encourage and share your journey with us!!

  4. Son I am so proud of you. Sometimes it takes people years to figure this out. I am a firm believe that when you leave work, leave every problem at work; it will be there the next day. This is very astute of you and your whole blog show me how dedicated you are in making your marriage a success.

    1. Your story holds true for all of us. We put our job at the highest standard and treat the ones we love and cherish like a speck of dirt from too many hard and long days at work. Change is good and refresh is a positive commitment and lets your important ones know that they matter and you care. Travis message is an uplift in a time of need, so remember to Refresh and dump the attitude for a better you.

  5. Great blog post, Travis! I appreciate you “keeping it real” and sharing the early woes of newlywed marriage communication. We are no longer in our own world, just doing our own thing. Our words and actions (or lack thereof) affect our spouse and set the tone in our house. Thanks for the reminder to pray before walking through the door too. As the song says “Oh what peace we often forfeit, oh what needless pains we bear, all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.”

  6. I found the article had a strong positive message, message that easily can get lost in our daily life
    This individual must have God in his life to come to this positive conclusion about his dilemma We all need to stop and takei inventory of our lives

  7. Nice post Travis!

    I can relate that sometimes I come home and go off on my family just because of my long day at work. Luckily I never went off on my Girlfriend over work just because when I see her are my off days. I agree though you should leave work stress at the door as it isn’t others faults that you feel such a way. I try to work on that issue but it gets the best of me sometimes but I definitely hope when the day I move in with my girl we wont have that problem.

    To digress I hope work is going well! Keep up the good work.

  8. Hi Travis,
    I really appreciate your blog, it speaks about your feelings, and encourages change within a relationship, friendship, or work place, I applaued you for coming up with this unique idea!!!

  9. I appreciate this. I’m getting married next year and in addition to counseling, I am always looking for some real advice to help prepare me. From time to time I ask Brittne for advice not only because I have admired your relationship since I’ve known of it but I know what you’ll share is truly God based and will be no sugar coating. It’s one thing to have a heart to heart, woman to woman, but it’s icing on the cake to hear the man’s perspective too. While I know there are people out there who share the same struggles and experiences, It’s sometimes still easy to feel like no one understands. I don’t like to frustrate people either by contacting them for advice too and I can only speak for me but I don’t want to be nosey, I genuinely just need help sometimes. So this is a blessing, I want understand how to be a better fiancé and wife to be. Thank you.

  10. Aww uncle Thats great advice 😊 I will always remember this when one day I get married !. Hit The Refresh Button !

  11. Ha! Reading this, hearing your words made me laugh, reflect and nod my head in total and complete agreement. We’ve had plenty of times where both of us had those moments. But experiences like these reveal to us our limits, where we are strong and weak in and when it’s time to ask for help. Sometimes I’ll tell Dave like yo, it’s time for me to tap out and charge my battery and He will give me that space and I have to be willing to give him his.

  12. I too, think this was a great title and topic to discuss,”Hit the Refresh Button”. Marriage is a covenant with God and without Him nothing good will come upon it. I think it is great to have that mindset and approach in that particular situation. In any relationship it is important to communicate with one another. Without that open communication or understanding sadly it will not flourish and the relationship will not last. Also, I appreciate the honesty because many couples keep issues within themselves. Will read the next blog soon. This truly is inspiring and encouraging for all of us.

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