Vows over Everything.

At a time when I was at my lowest point in my life , God lifted me up.

Do you, Paul take  Sarah to be your lawfully wedded wife and live together forever in the estate of holy matrimony? Do you promise to  love, comfort, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse for as long as you both shall live?

 I do.

 I, Sarah take thee, Paul to be my wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.

 

 

 

Maybe your Vows didn’t sound exactly like the ones above, or maybe they did, perhaps you wrote your own vows. Whatever the case may be, imagine you are about to enter marriage, a world full of both uncertainty and excitement, and you are racking your brain for what your vows could be to your wife. My biggest piece of advice would be this, don’t enter marriage unadvisedly. Essentially what Vows entail is commitment, not emotion, but allegiance and faithfulness. Marriage is about forgiving one another, fighting through hard times and exercising the principles of God’s word that you have learned in singleness. The easy way out is divorce. To be frank, God hates divorce. Divorce is a disease that has hit the body of Christ and spread like wildfire. Many of our favorite singers and preachers openly get divorced and marry another, as if God is pleased with that course. The frequency of divorce should tell us a lot. One note it should tell us is that marriage is not easy, I don’t care if you never had a bad day with your spouse , “keep living” as the grown folks say. I can speak from my own experience. I entered my marriage with a ton of momentum. Everything was going well about half way through the year was when our first test came. I got fired from my Job, a job that I was at for Five years and was succeeding at.  I virtually lost all my friends and never got a chance to defend myself. The savings we had were running low, my wife in turn lost her job, and we were moving to a very dark place. There I was, very happy to be married, and all of a sudden I became a 28-year-old without money, no car (we lost that too) and a reputation that had been run through the mud.  The next incident was between me and my wife, the frustration and all the factors had caused friction between us.  Arguments were becoming the norm and divorce was brought up, we found ourselves attacking one another verbally due to the stress of life.  Those lessons of life led me to provide this thought to anyone who is thinking about marriage. We serve A God that will test you and we are at odds with a Devil that does not want to see you and your  spouse together. We ended up being unemployed for a total of 4 months. The time of friction between us was about 1 month but it felt like a year.  I decided that it was time for us to go on the offensive and she felt the same way.

It was during the time of intense friction that I was reminded of my vows. Vows that made me cry, Vows that I never intend to break.  God pointed me back to them. I laughed and told God “I would never Divorce my wife”. Vows aren’t just to prevent divorce; it’s not just a commitment for two people just to stay together for the sake of staying together. Marriage isn’t intended for two just to merely exist, but to live fruitfully, blissfully and more abundantly. To be companions, to be one and to be a ministry unto others and unto God. God wanted us to get the most out of our marriage. And God led  me to do something that my wife is not aware that I do, but she will be after reading this! He told me to read my vows every day. I literally renew my vows to my wife daily!  Every morning I read my vows before I go to work. All those things I lost, God gave us back.  I was given a car, I started a new career,  I renewed friendships and created new friendships . We realized that God had to move some things so that we would focus on one another. The vows that you will make to your spouse cant waiver because of life, your vows can’t waiver because you are tired of him or her. This is the biggest commitment that any man or woman will enter, I don’t care what anyone thinks or what the media says, when done right you will get a refreshing perspective of God that you never had before. And you will receive and operate on a  level of favor that was impossible to obtain when single (read Proverbs 18:22). I would advise all men and women to renew their vows daily, not every 20 years. We spend so much time and money on the dress, the flowers, the reception and the honeymoon and almost forgot the most important part is the vows. It’s fascinating that the most valuable part of your wedding is a part that is free, your vows.  There is no price attached to them just a commitment to God and your spouse. Let me drive this point home. Your commitment to your spouse supersedes every feeling, emotion, trial, tragedy, hardship, Injury, freak accident, death, boredom, sweetheart on the side and what ever else life throws at you. Please renew your vows Daily.

.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this company of witnesses to join together this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony; which is an honorable estate, instituted of God, signifying unto us the mystical union that is between Christ and His Church; which Holy Estate Christ adorned with His presence and first miracle that He wrought in Cana of Galilee, and is commended of St. Paul to be honorable among all men; and therefore, not entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, discreetly, soberly and in the fear of God. Into this Holy Estate these two persons present come now to be joined

Hit The Refresh Button

 

Whether you have the best career you could’ve ever asked for, or you hate your job tremendously, we all have bad days at work. Whether you run your own business, work for a company or serve your community, stressful days are guaranteed.  Like most of us, when I venture home my wife awaits.  Often I walk in the door and just want to skip everything, and immediately jump in my bed.   However, she has needs as well and without any warning she goes off, talking about anything and everything. Suddenly, those lips that I love become a curse when they move.  Her voice that is usually so angelic to me becomes a snare, and her body language is causing me to roll my eyes.  I remain quiet for a couple of minutes until I have heard enough.  Then she asks me the worst question she could possibly ask in this moment “How was work”? At this point I lose it! I take all of my stress out on my helper, I belittle her because I felt belittled at work, and I abuse her with your words because I felt beat-up at work. I gave all my energy to work but I forgot to save some energy for my family. I forgot to hit the “refresh button” and leave my daily stresses at the door. This is a lesson I had to learn early in my marriage because I was that guy that wanted to be angry after work and not deal with my family as if it was their fault.  My wife would feel rejected from me. This was not good for our marriage and needed to be fixed.

I learned that my wife meant well. She truly was concerned and she did not deserve my anger. I decided that no matter how bad or stressful work was that day, before I walked in my home I would leave work behind, leave stress behind. The ride home was my time to prepare.  Prayer was key; my prayer was always a prayer of thanks. “Lord I thank you for my occupation, lord I thank you for my wife, Lord I cast all my cares and stress on you, help me to be a blessing to my wife”. This helped me so much. There were times when I needed more than prayer, sometimes just stopping somewhere and making a purchase helped. Going to the gym before stopping home would clear my mind as well; just make sure you communicate with your spouse before you make a stop. The truth is I give 100% at work and my wife deserves more than the work does. This is a principle you can apply throughout your entire marriage, give your wife more energy than work, never put any business venture before your family and always refresh before you come home. Now When I hear “Hun how was work”? It sparks the most fulling conversations in our home. Remember to hit the refresh button